So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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