Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
