Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
