I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
