Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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