I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize