Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
