The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Are we still banned from the library?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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