And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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