and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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