I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
