It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
