I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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