Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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