based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
