Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
