Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize