Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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