I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
