Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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