I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize