if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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