Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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