If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
