11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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