I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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