Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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