The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
operation harelip BJ is a go
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
