i need an iv and a liver transplant
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
