I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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