Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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