I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She's the barista slut.
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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