wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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