My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize