i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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