We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
