you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
