whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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