Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
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Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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