she was so not down for the gang bang
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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