I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
