sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
