She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize