Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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