I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
