Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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