How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
