you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
