ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
