Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
