I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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