Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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