addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
accomplished twins. life is a go
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Randomize
