How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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