I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
