My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
as a side note pls kill me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
