Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
