You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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