You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
another moral hangover. fuck.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
