Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize