I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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