so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Still dying that you shit outside
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
