Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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