I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
